Learn to face up to this, on my own.
Thinking about the future scares me. I don't want to step into 'the world', but the world just keeps drawing nearer. Time catches up with us so fast we don't even realize it. One minute you're a child, full of hopes and dreams; while the next minute you're a full-grown adult, trying to realize those hopes and dreams. Life is mainly decisions after decisions. The right decisions are usually made based on maturity and knowledge. I'm not sure I have that, just yet. And I'm not sure if things will fall into place as planned. It's seriously scaring the f**k out of me.
Back then, it was follow through motion. You start off in kindergarten, get out of primary school, finish off secondary school and then graduate with a diploma from polytechnic. After that, it's all just a blur. A blur vision of what's ahead and what's waiting for you. To remove that blur, you gotta get glasses (haha. i'm joking. of course.) But seriously, to get rid of that blur, you must start shaping what you want to see. Unless you figure that out, you'll never see anything as clear as broad daylight again.
Thing is, I KNOW what I want. I KNOW what is it that can make me feel complete. It's just that, I'm scared. Cause all this is happening too fast. I want to graduate, but I don't think I want it to happen just yet. I want to get married, but the thought of me getting closer to that age scares me. I want to support my parents, but that would mean I'm an adult already. And I don't want to grow old and be an adult.
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. I feel you Britney.
